The Mediation Process

Here is how a family mediation typically unfolds at Mediation Lounge, from the free initial consultation to a Memorandum of Understanding.

1. Information Session

   Following the free initial consultation, if you and your spouse decide to proceed with mediation, we will schedule individual sessions with each of you to begin the path towards a resolution. At this stage, you can expect to be asked basic “get to know you” questions, and we will learn about your main concerns and desired outcome. You will also learn about your rights and responsibilities within a mediation framework. The intake is perhaps the most critical part of mediation, because it determines how the process is designed given the nuances between you and your spouse. At the end of the intake, you will be told the next steps so that you have a degree of comfort with the process.

2. Financial Disclosure

   With basic intakes completed for both spouses, the mediator will email each of you a comprehensive disclosure list. Once the documents are received, the mediator will review all financial information and, if sufficient, will begin the mediation process. Before the first financial mediation session, the mediator will organize the financial data so it can be presented to you and the financial implications explained. Family law rules in Ontario set out how assets and liabilities are divided, and certain date-of-marriage deductions and exclusions may be in play. While we are not in a position to provide legal advice, we will guide you through the basic premise of these rules and encourage you to obtain independent legal advice. We work with a varied group of legal and other professionals and can offer referrals, or you may wish to find them on your own.

   For more complex financial scenarios, the initial portion of the mediation will likely involve ensuring each spouse fully understands the financial workings of the other. There can be no agreement if either spouse is disadvantaged by a lack of knowledge or understanding. We use our background in asset valuation and finance to explain the numbers to you clearly. Certain situations will require the help of outside experts, and you will be informed of this as the situation warrants.

3. Mediation Begins: the Parenting Plan

   Financial documentation and related information often take time to assemble for a proper mediation. While this is being gathered, we know your children are your priority. Research has shown that minimizing conflict between separating spouses leads to a healthier transition for the children into the new reality of two households. This part of the mediation often involves developing a sound Parenting Plan that addresses the sensitivities of the children. A Parenting Plan can be quite detailed, covering everything from day-to-day parenting schedules to holiday routines and extra-curricular activities, among other areas of the children’s lives. We are by nature compassionate in our work and will make every effort to help you resolve Parenting and Decision-Making for the children as quickly as possible.

4. Financial Mediation

   Your financial future is key to moving forward. Ontario family law rules determine the division of assets under the premise of Equalization. Equalization is a concept whereby the spouse with the higher net worth (Net Family Property: assets less liabilities) makes a payment to the other spouse in order to “equalize” the value of their assets, otherwise known as Property. Property may take many forms, including but not limited to real estate, businesses, pensions and securities. Importantly, Equalization of Property is based entirely on the net gain from the date of marriage to the date of separation. Consequently, family law provisions allow for date-of-marriage deductions. Family law rules also permit exclusions, which may be omitted from equalization entirely if certain procedures were followed in how those assets were held during the marriage. Exclusions may include inheritances, insurance settlements and similar items. While we will prepare your financial snapshot with these rules in mind, we encourage you to verify it with independent legal counsel.

   Aside from Property considerations, there will often be support obligations. We will use our understanding of financial issues to help you resolve differences towards an acceptable outcome. Financial mediations can at times be fairly complex and may require several sessions to reach an agreement.

5. Finality

   When the financial and Parenting Plan mediation is complete, the mediator will draft a Memorandum of Understanding (“MOU”). As the title implies, this document simply records the agreement between the parties and is therefore not legally binding. Each spouse must seek independent legal advice from a qualified family lawyer on the terms contained in the MOU. Only when the terms of the MOU are incorporated into a separation agreement do they become legally binding, and enforceable if filed with the court. Provided you have been separated for at least one (1) year and have a separation agreement that addresses all considerations between you and your former spouse, you may then apply for a Divorce Certificate.

   While the process is considered final at this point, in reality, if there are children or spousal support obligations, the income of the paying spouse will be an ongoing consideration for potentially years to come. Couples are encouraged to make reasonable efforts to resolve matters among themselves, and to seek the assistance of a mediator if discussions fail.